Killing

Its the law of nature that, if you kills, you got food...

And there's also another law, you kill, you learn whats inside your kill...

We Biology Stream will be doing it, this week.

***
I've always been lack of the guts to dissect the animals in secondary school. No matter a hamster-sized mouse or a mouse with size of a 1-2 weeks old kitten, I still couldnt cut them. When looking them struggling inside the glass chamber (which actually is the aquarium tank) with chloroform, I can feel my tears holding inside my eyes.

Its lucky coz its a group work, so I just standing at the side, watching them doing whatever the works need to be done. I can sense the knife cutting the skin of the mouse when they doing so. I smell blood, but I still sense the life of the mouse, its still alive.

My groupmates peeled the skin of the mouse and flesh, the organs of the mouse can be seen very clearly. The heart still pumping, the blood is still flowing through the small body. They all started to do some observation around the small body, identifying, touching, feeling, sensing and playing the organs when done.

Some of them cut off the intestine and play around; some continue to cut the skin to see more of the mouse; some other just standing there observing the organs. Then, the teacher located the artery near the heart, said if we cut it off, lots of blood will be flowed out, and they told me to do so.

“Wah !”

And there it is, I ended the mouse’s life. The blood didnt split out when I cut it, but it all flows out of the small artery that teacher shows.

***
I just got my dissection kit few days ago, and I look through it already. Sharp and small tools sealed in plastic, placed inside the box nice and neat. So, this will be my killing tools for the coming up experiment. We kill to learn, even the doctors and scientist are the same. Perhaps they’re even worse, but they’re not that terrible till using human for testing their experiments...perhaps...who knows ?

Some day in the future, I might be the one doing such a thing, but I must remember that, for every kill, its for learning. The kill must be worth, or it’ll be wasted just like that, another life of a being...

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Flash Back

Seeing TE 4rians' relationship between each of us getting further and further apart, makes me a little sad. I was wondering about what happens to them, I felt like wanna worries about them But when thinking back, I myself also having problems, how am I suppose to worry about them without solving my own problems !?

"You all is not actually you all," I told Freezie and before that, told "My" Chelle too.

"...When it comes to grouping and assignment and test, they will be like that. Too stress, perhaps..." said "My" Chelle.

"...I noticed it too, but our relationships are close and when it comes to grouping, we should be able to suits ourselves right ? But why is it the other way round ..." Freezie replied.

When I was having my shower today, I thought back the first day I meet TE 4.

***
Its a Monday, where I thought I'll be having Chemistry practical. Outside the lab, its the first time I saw Freezie and Sensei. We chatted a while and found out our class is actually consists of 16+- students.

Later on, I went for math lecture, saw SL and Slash playing PSP. At first I thought of being a really hardworking student this time and not mixing around with other people, but SL and Slash breaks the barrier and welcomed me to sit together with them. Introduced themselves as Henry and Slash and I said I'm Wong.

Then, Bond came and he looks matured to me, which makes me felt more childish. The rest of the classmates were girls where I cant remembers their faces and names well, since they all looks so alike to me for that particular moment. I felt that I shouldnt mix around, for the sake of my results and degree course...I dont want the same thing happens to me again.

During math lecture, Ms Pua asked for volunteer to photostat the notes for the class and SL rose up his hand. MS Pua shouts put loud that "OK then, you'll be the Class Rep of TE 4 from now on." And from that day onwards, he's the Class Rep.

We also had an English language lecture with Ms Lilian (kinda miss her actually), and we're told to form a group with 4-5 people. I grouped with Rannie, which makes me thought he had a very good result in his SPM, and a very quiet person. At the same time, Freezie and perhaps Hermin or "My" Chelle were my group members too. Freezie introduced herself that she got almost full A1 in SPM but cant get any offer from everywhere, thats why she entered UTAR. That shocks me and she reminds me of Au YH. Rannie got our phone numbers and I before he do so, I got almost everyone's MSN already.

There's a day where we're having Chemistry tutorial with Ms T, where her words brings me into her world full of atom and bonding. Thats the time where I meet Tweety for the first time. Her cute voice shocks me at the first time, but when thinking back about her voice now, its actually quite unique. I always scare that she'll be kidnapped when we're walking back together but I found that she can be a very strong girl, and my worries faded.

I remember I always confused between all the girls, trying to remember them by their real names was kinda hard at first. Then Slash started to gave nicknames for all of us. Freezie got her nickname coz of a day, where Slash and I saw her sitting alone, like frozen in space and time; while Tweety coz of her cute little voice; Slash named himself so coz its his wish; started with Tally for Sensei, but never really used; Weirdo for Jes, and never been used too; then Spiky for me, coz of my spiky hair.

First time seeing "My" Chelle reminds me of the Michelles in my secondary school.
"All the Michelle I met are talented and smart person, so are you," I told her. Beginning time I know she also sets a barrier between her and us, but it also broke by the rest of us. I remember there's a time where she was rushing for something and shouted "Dental appointment !" out loud to the rest of us in a rush and went out of the class before English lecture with Cecily starts.

Then Ragu comes with Scott, both of them becomes Wolverine and Scott from X-men. Kalai also came and Amsha got a friend to chat with from that day on. We keep on calling Amsha "Itchy girl" or "Hippo girl" and some sort of names, and Kalai strangely becomes the Catwomen of that time.

Rannie suddenly becomes the real self and started to chat non-stop in the class. From that day on, we chat together; lunch and dinner together, laugh together and ... play together.

***
But now, I only can get back those happy feelings when I tried to flash back. I want to leave the sadness and loneliness that I had in my secondary school away from me. I appreciate every moment that I had with them, coz I dont know what will be happening to them next day. When you needs me, I'll be there; when I needs you, I hope that you'll be here too.

So...am I thinking too much or ... it is a reality ?

I'm afraid of the coming day named "tomorrow". I'm afraid of what will I be seeing from my fellow TE 4rians. I felt like hugging all of them, afraid that they will be disappeared tomorrow. What I can do now is ... hope that tomorrow will be a better day, where I'll be meeting the same old TE 4rians, laughing along the way to the class again.

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Interesting Pictures ! [Offline Blog for 16/11]

Well...the title says it all !

I was playing the new DotA map using the new Hero Windrunner solo-ing Pit Lord in easy mode. Though it says "easy", but that Pit Lord actually levels more faster than me and even bought his godly weapons ! He kept on attacking my base as it was a piece of s**t to him. Well...with my 2nd skill, most of the creeps were piece of cake to me.

It keeps on going for 40+ minutes or so, died twice in attempt to protect the base, finally I strikes back with my godly weapons (not the best weapons, but it was the best I could get when I was killed by him and lack of money that time) ! Slowly and slowly, leading my armies marching through all the creeps. When I saw Pit Lord, first I binds him with my 1st skill, trying to hit him as much as I could before I use the 1st skill again, then Ultimate him ! But everytime his HP reached red in colour, he rans away.

Anyway, finally I'm attacking his base and I saw him nearby ! 1st skill and he's binded with his army at the back, I shoot him till he's almost reach half of his HP. He seems like didnt notice about that, well...ULTIMATE HIM ! He shocks like hell and ran for his life. But later on, all went "poof" and I won ! Hohoho~~~

I got a habit where I'll be checking the weapons that my enemy bought, to see why he can kill me. And so, I found him doing something strange, which is this !

#Looks like he's pee-ing to me. Now look at another picture.#

#Looks like Pit Lord saying something ! Perhaps he's saying "you scare me till I pee in my pants !" Haha~#

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Rushing [Offline Blog for 13/11]

Today is Thursday. Kinda like some sorta boring introduction line, but what I wanna said here is, to day we got 2.5 hours break in between lectures and practicals. And so the day before, me and Tweety promised to go Digital Mall for some prupose (that you all no need to know about). After the (boring ?) morning lecture, its 11am and we're getting ourselves ready for the bus. But then later on seems like lots of TE 4rians wanna join the trip too, and so here's how it goes.

Me and Tweety found a place where Freezie-chan and Hermin sat, placed our bags there and I need to settle something with the Department and Tweety accompanied me along the way. After all the troubles with different Faculties in PA Block, I found out I need to go to PE Block.

And when I'm ready to go, Tweety dissapeared ! But later on around 12pm, she appears back and the gang of people that going Digital Mall were...Bond as driver (which actually out of my expectations !), Rannie, Sensei, Scott, Tweety, "My" Chelle, Jolin and me, in a total of 8 people.

And so, we fit inside the Wira and found out that we're very lucky coz all of us are skinny and thin ! Its the first time ever that I sat at the back seat with 5 other people, so its a bit interesting to see how 6 people fits at the back seat.

"Take pictures !" I shouted at the back.

Tweety and "My" Chelle took out their handphones and started to take pictures about the situation at that time. Rannie becomes our photographer since he sat at the front seat. We all went kisiao and took lots of pictures.

"Put me down at PE ?"
"Ok."

Found myself at PE later on, and went to the Faculty for approvement of the paper. Saw Evil Laugh there and later on Ms Leong. Surprisingly, the Faculty's efficiency really high and I got back my paper approved within 10 minutes.Walked myself to Digital Mall and found them in BSN, then we go to McD.

"Who wants to go Digital Mall please go now, only 30 minutes left till our practical." said "My" Chelle.

And we're in McD, rushing to buy some food and the popular food of the day for TE 4 is - french fries. I bought a burger set which includes the fries and after finished, Jolin said "go buy a large fries if you want to eat more" to Bond. Then, a large fries came ! Rannie was so into eating fries and he bought a large fries too.

Getting in Bond's car 20 minutes later and heading back for the Biology practical with Mr P. Kinda fun having the practical with him, since he's a funny guy.

"Whats the differences between primary and secondary (follicide) ?" asked SL to Mr P.
"One is in blue one is in green."
"???"

What he means was, primary school students wears blue while secondary school students wears green for the pants. @_@

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A Fun Day At IKANO

Well...its last week's event. Its a Friday, where Jes, Freezie, Rannie, Sensei and me going together in Ben's (Jes's friend) car. I scared that the car doesnt fits us all, but at the end the Proton Waja did it and we're on the journey to IKANO's Popular.

After we arrived, we're not going to Popular first, but the pet shop ! Lots of cute looking animals there. What a cute Hush Puppy there, but cant take photo and Freezie was warned not to do so. And so we moved on...reptiles ! I ran for my life when I reached that section. Lucky there's no tarantula somewhere else in the display boxes.

And so, we're in the Popular book store, we separated and look for our own stuffs. I always likes to go into a books store just to look at the books. Its fun that you can actually read some of the books there and if your reading speed are fast enough, you can even finish a book there in a few hours !

And after that (though my satisfaction havent maximized yet), Freezie, Rannie and me go and look for Sensei and Jes coz they both went to Padini already. And later on, I spotted something that caught my eyes.

"Buy 1 free 1," somemore its 1 shirt for RM49.90, with "buy 1 free 1" it makes the shirt around RM25 ! Problem : the shirt was found in the female section. Asked the promoter and she said its unisex clothes. And so Freezie, Rannie and me went kisiao and searched for the suitable size for testing.

#Trying the white first...#

#...actually...we're having pictures in the changing room with door closed. Noticed that 3 of us are wearing the same clothes ?#

#Rannie changed to black pulak...same design anyway.#

#Well...Freezie didnt changed to black, she just changed back to her own clothes.#

Kinda hungry after looking at the clothes for about an hour. And so we went to the cafeteria for a snack. The curry puff was so delicious and the drink can be refilled ! After all the fun in snacking, went back to SS2 for the real dinner, then going back home with Ben's car again. Izzit fun ? Well...it is !

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In the Memories of No.336 [Offline Blog for 2/11]

Moved to the new house now, and this house is much MUCH more cleaner than the previous house that I stayed before. Though I'm moved into a new house, the memories in the previous house still deep inside of me, reminding me about the fun stuffs that we used to be doing. In the memories of that house, this blog is for you and my housemates there.

Still remember, the night when I first moved in there, I was busying to arrange my stuffs and at the same time (and the second time as well), seen YCW in his room. He bought lots of friends (which later on I counted, its only 3) and had lots of laughter and screaming.

"Ding dong, wanna play card games ?"
I heard YCW asking the girl next to my door, later on I heard my door been knocked.
"Ding dong, wanna play card games ?"
"Wait a sec, I'll join later on..."
And so I did.

I'm freezing cold deep inside my heart that time, coz still in the mood of missing my parents. Later when I entered YCW's room, my mood changed and I became more cheerful. Thanks to them, at least I had some fun that night.

And I remember...there's a girl staying down stairs, always wearing her pyjamas-like clothes with her specs. Looks like she's working but later on found that she's on her degree now. Introduced herself as Angie and since then, always came up stairs for YCW's television. At the same time, Ang and Joe rented the room beside me and we all became housemates.

A day before the mid term test, YCW and Angie asked me out to SS2 pasar malam, claiming there's a stall with nice dessert. I wanted to go but I cant coz I need to study, so I refused. And since then every Monday it rains, and I cant go to the pasar malam coz its raining. But there's a day where there's no rain, and 3 of us went out together with Ang and Joe to pasar malam.

We had a feast in YCW's tiny room and we're having fun eating dinner together with television switched on. Something happened in the bathroom, a giant cockroach hanging around the big pile of water that we used for bath ! And it fell into it, YCW, Ang and me screamed like heck and lucky YCW's friend grabbed the bug and threw it miles away. What to do ? YCW washed the whole bathroom later on with a mixture of detergent and soaps.

There's a day, where Angie brought back some starfruit for each of us. Smells delicious and taste juicy too ! And there's also a day where she brings her lap top upstairs to YCW's room, and we're watching movies in the dark. I remember, there's a day she was rushing to finish her assignments about TESCO and wanted us to help her to look for some pictures and add some finishing touch on to the stuffs that she made in her pendrive.

"I'm doing that for the whole day already, what to do with the picture I found ?"
Its funny that the resolution of the picture she found were extremely small and you can see squares at the edge of the circle when you magnify it. YCW helped her to edit it and it looks nicer and better than before.

There's a day where I heard Angie was moving back to her hometown coz she's home sick. She cried in front of YCW and told me about her problems after that. She helped her friends to finish the group assignments and said goodbye with us at the end of that week.

Angie didnt speak english very well, but she tried to speak with us in english. She's been a very nice person and mixed with me and YCW well during her stay. She stopped her degree just like that and went back to her hometown. I wish she'll be having a happier life there.

Then later on YCW said he wanna move to another house. And later on all the people staying at the house wanna move to other place. Its just like the butterfly effect. I want all these sweet memories keep in somewhere so that I can remember them when I forget it.

Memorial quotes from Angie :

"I've been doing that for the whole day already, and yo finished doing the same thing in an hour ark !?" ---Angie talking to YCW.

"Yong...I mean Wong, I always confuse about your name with Wong, eh...Yong..." ---Angie talking to me.

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Untitled [Offline Blog for 29/10]

Its been a while since I'm writting blog. Didnt really got the mood to write it, probably coz of the current situation where I cant go online at home, I mean the Section 17 home, or should I called it ... a house ? The "Untitled" will be used if I cant think of any title for the post.

Anyway, life as a teenage student in university is still OK for me. Assignments are up and mid term tests will be started next week onwards. Whats more is, I havent prepare my 5 minutes speech yet, and my presentation for that speech will be on week 5, 2 more weeks from now on.

Lets talk about what I've done yesterday, after the lunch at PC Block with SL and Jes, we went home by walking, though Jes keep saying wanna have a cab. What happen that night was, I keep on going to the toilet for "big business" every few hours, even in the middle of the night ! "Oh shit !" thought myself.

My stomach still aching the next day morning (which was today morning then) and read Freezie's SMS. Its 7.15am, and she ask me to go to school together at 7.05am. Replied her that I'm having stomach ache and said I'll be skipping math lecture. While they all were having their 2 hour lecture, I went to the toilet for 2 times in that particular period.

Went to the store near RM3.60 (its a restaurant where we call it that way, suppose to be known as "Kam Seng") for some medicine for stomach ache. Strangely, after bought the medicine, the ache was cured without eating the medicine !

Went to school for biology lecture, and found fellow TE 4s asking for my problem. Well, its much more better already, just that I worried what to do when I need to rush to the toilet later on, coz I'm sitting deep inside the room, far away from the door of the classroom. After the lecture, found that I felt better that few hours before.

Went back home after lunch at Hou Yee Kei, and thought of the "date" I had with Mel Lee, Shi Hooi and YCW. Half an hour later I'll be meeting them at Mel Lee and Shi Hooi's house. They're going to cook dinner for some sorta event or celebration. Anyway, I'm hoping for that feast, and a laughter to cure my worries deep inside me.

"Whats wrong with Wong today ? Why so quiet ?" asked Shi Hooi that day when we're going to SS2 pasar malam (known as night market in direct translation).

Well...here I said, financial problems. Not gonna say much about that, since it'll be boring and I dont want myself to remembers it well coz I dont wan to be very depressed and worried. What to do for now is, try to use as little money as possible for the day. Haiz...

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